My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize