I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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