We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
