If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
