It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
