Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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