well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
