sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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