Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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