did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
