Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
