Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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