i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
