But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
