I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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