I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
