my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize