WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize