he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
