I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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