You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
