he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
