woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
