I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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