The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
