If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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