There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
