I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
