gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
