WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
