Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
