Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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