how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
