I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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