Don't you send me to vm
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
