ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So much rum. So many feels.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
