he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
where am i from again
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
