You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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