Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
