I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
