420 ftw
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
