I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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