Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
