Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
