remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
