this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
