hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
