Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
