idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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