How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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