READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
