dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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