It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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