i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
