Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize