Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
