laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
