I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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