some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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