Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
