You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize