I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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