physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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