so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
