You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize