She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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