I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
